I need to have the paper re-written and strengthen…..the paper is written already, just need to be cleaned up and written a little better. It’s 5 pages, but I need you to add to it, but use the 5 page paper and combine what you write to make another 5 page paper and use the references lists, but it needs to be 7 references all together. I will attach all the criteria and example of the paper to you.

These are the comments my teacher left for me to clean up the paper

Comments:

* Make sure to check the document for embedded comments.
Lots of good information — but information flow and logic need work — it was very difficult to follow what you were trying to present/say === I would get interested in the topic and then get lost trying to follow the flow of what you were trying to say …

Paper needs work – get someone else to read and comment from a readability perspective.
1. Content (65%)
a. Meets Stated Title/Summary/Direction (20) – 20
b. Logic and information flow consistent (20) – 10 – needs work
c. Information and facts adequately address topic (10) – 8
d. Facts and materials w/n document are referenced (10) – 5 – not correctly
e. Opinions if given are stated as such and in a separate section (5) – 5

2. English/Grammar (20%) 10
a. Writing is at the appropriate level (5) – 3
b. Spelling and grammar correct (5) – 3
– No consistent use of repeated words to start sentences/paragraphs
– Sentences/paragraphs don’t start with prepositions –
c. Writing does not detract from information being presented (5) – 3 – detracts
– Sentences are logical and information flows with in and between paragraphs – – needs work
d. Paper passes the ‘readability’ test – e.g. does it read well (5) – 3 – needs some work

3. References (10%) 7
a. Logical and follow a recognized style (5) – 3 – not all
b. References as required (5) – 5

4. Administrative: Meets criteria as outlined (5%) 5
a. Used appropriate style (2) –
b. Named upload file correctly (1) –
c. Does not exceed page length requirements (2) –

 
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